20 August 2025

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: speaking out about the real reason you resigned, having the seat pulled out from under you, and meeting expectations.

I was a volunteer with a community-based science organisation and found it more rewarding than my paid job. I’ve always highlighted this experience in interviews. However, I left after an older male attempted to sexually assault me. That was traumatic, but the president’s response to my complaint was worse. He finalised it within two days without speaking to me, offered inadequate “solutions” over the phone, and later, when I sought more information, he screamed at me to disclose any past assaults. Under duress, I shared some details. When I tried to seek support elsewhere in the organisation, no one helped. Feeling isolated, I resigned. I’m now on antidepressants and in counselling, and remain deeply traumatised. At work, colleagues often ask about my volunteering, since they knew it was an important part of my life. I’ve been telling them the truth, but I worry this may not be the right approach. Should I continue being open, or is it better to play it down and avoid answering fully?

First, I am so sorry this happened to you. It sounds as though you have been let down at multiple points when you should have expected empathy, protection and justice. Second, it sounds like you had someone commit a crime against you and so you have every right to take that to the police, or other regulatory body, to report. If you feel that is a path you want to go down, this may help you receive the support you did not receive when you reported the matter internally.

Third, the behaviour of your president was unacceptable. He has obligations as an office-holder to ensure you are safe at work, and he does not appear to have done so. In fact, he appears to have aggravated the situation for you. The regulatory body who administers your volunteer organisation may be able to assist you in this regard.

In terms of whether to tell the truth or gloss over what happened, that is really only something you can answer. Telling the truth is always a great place to start, but there may be some situations when an abbreviated reason may be better. You also need to be careful of making allegations about people that have not been proven in court or through another process. I hate having to say that, since I know you know what happened, but it is something to be mindful of. Ultimately, take care of your own wellbeing first and foremost.

I work for a government agency and was asked to take a secondment to another unit. I hesitated, having previously had a negative experience with someone in that team. After raising concerns with a senior leader, I was assured I could sit next to a trusted former colleague whom I respect and feel safe around. On my first day, I was told that seating arrangement would not happen. I advised I would return to my substantive role. My supervisor called me childish and said to go back, or it would be escalated. I value professionalism, but isn’t wellbeing just as important?

This is a situation where it helps to see both sides. If your immediate supervisor doesn’t know how unsafe you feel around a certain person, it’s understandable they might be frustrated that you refused the secondment over a seating issue. Without context, your reaction could seem extreme – though ideally, their first step should have been to ask why you felt that way.

Have you explained your concerns to your supervisor about what caused your discomfort? Is there an EAP counsellor you could speak with for support? If the issue relates to past behaviour by the other person, consider whether it needs to be reported to avoid a repeat. Above all, focus on steps that help you feel safer at work.

At my six-month probation review, my manager graded me “above expectations”. I signed the report and returned it. Later, he phoned to say he had changed the grade to “meets expectations” before sending it to HR, claiming it didn’t matter. Is altering a signed document even legal?

My guess? Your manager isn’t a great communicator. It likely makes little difference – perhaps HR told him “above expectations” isn’t used for probation, so he changed the box. Still, he should have clearly explained why and any resulting impact. An easy approach is to ask: “About that form – why was it changed, and will ‘meets expectations’ affect future pay reviews or promotions?”

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.